A past journal entry with some commentary on how I feel about these thoughts today

The bold is the Journal entry and the plain text is Present commentary.

7:04am Wed, June 29th

Negative and low value thoughts are fuel for chaos, passivity and unhappiness. These questions can help control your negative thoughts by thinking through them rationally now, so that you don’t manage to skip the process later.

Like seeing roasted meat and other dishes in front of you and suddenly realizing: This is a dead fish. A dead bird. A dead pig. Or this noble vintage is grape juice,…

Perceptions like that – latching onto things and piercing through them, so we see what they really are. That’s what we need to do all the time… To lay them bare and see how pointless they are…”

Marcus – meditations

I – Think of something you desperately wanted to have and eventually purchased. How do I feel about this item now? was the feeling warranted?

• Video game currency. I neglect most of the things I get, using them a few times then moving on, even in video games with skins, coins, games, and I’m spending that money on pixels on my screen to feel satiated that I do? The craving is never warranted nor is it ever necessary.
• Yea, this was bad, and it was like a monkey on my back for years. I feel fairly confident that I have spent almost little to none on video games since I wrote this. I know that may sound like something that shouldn’t have been a task. But yea, it’s kinda embarrassing to look back and think on how much I did spend.
• I need to really think deep and focus on speaking more about instant gratification, because in its nature that what it is when I make those purchases. Its just a very prominent example within my life that it shows through not of course that its the only situation that it does.

II – What do I really want to buy right now? what value will it add to my life? What value will be lost if I don’t buy it? Is there a better use for the money iIwould have to spend to acquire it?

I really need to enforce having these questions in my mind throughout the day. I feel that I still sometimes am not conscious enough of my actions

In that same note, I need to focus on controlling my uncontrolled thinking and I will more often than not be able to control unwanted behavior.

You had a good lift today. I just wanted to tell you to let your thoughts and words be yours and only yours today. Be kinder and more confident i yourself today because you deserve to have that. Look for calmness. Look for steadiness, look for stillness.

I’m not sure why I stopped leaving my self these notes near the end of my journals because they have always made me feel pretty good after writing them. I need to ensure I get back to doing this.

Try to see today, look at the world. Examine thoroughly and don’t let anyone distract you. Control your actions and stop trying to control absolutely anything else.

I have a lot to learn from myself. I think today I’ve really learned that I need to not just write for the moment but ensure that I’m going back and reading old entries. Looking back and examining on how I’ve grown, even if not exponentially, seeing the progress, recognizing the 1%.

So do that today. Enact on changing your perspective on everything that comes at you today. And don’t slander yourself if you fail. But instead recognize you have and that you did. And think about how you would like to approach that scenario internally if it was to happen again.

That was the last thing I wrote. Don’t fully recall why but its highlighted pink, If it was that important then that means Its still that important today, So that’s going to be my focus for the day.

I believe this entry was written around the same time I was reading the book the Socrates express as its speaking on a lot of the philosophy of Henry David Thoreau, very interesting man that is worth looking into. I haven’t finished the book but its something Ill get to soon.

Closing statements

Thank you for being here. This was something different but something I actually really enjoyed doing.

I hope you have a great day.

Get 1% better.

Be the best version of you today.

See you again soon.